An alarming trend that I find myself doing is pushing people away when I’m not happy. This can be with friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers. It’s been happening a lot over the last few years because of my career, or lack of. I find myself feeling inadequate and questions like “How are things going with you?” increasingly difficult to answer. I feel like I have to explain myself, why I’m not working, why I don’t have a job, why am I a failure (this one is self-projected) and it’s hard. It’s really hard. As much as I believe people have the best intentions, it’s hard to revisit why things are the way they are.
And thus, I push people away. I avoid talking to people. I avoid social events. And it sucks. Isolating myself doesn’t make things better, but seeing people also gives me anxiety.
Anyone else feel this way? Is there a way to fix it?